update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
