she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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