I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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