You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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