I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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