I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
