I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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