I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
