false alarm. still invincible.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize