ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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