that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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