I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't deserve a penis
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
