He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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