I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
