If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
