There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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