Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
