carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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