I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?