My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.