Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
