help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.