He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.