Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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