i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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