those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize