I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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