Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
