Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
