He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Never joke about your clitoris.
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