HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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