There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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