you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Bring me that man meat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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