Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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