My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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