I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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