So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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