Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
