How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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