R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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