so that wasnt chicken after all
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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