i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
