When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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