i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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