alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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