wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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