He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
