you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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