I have demons in me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
People in love make me want to vomit
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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