my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He did a backflip because drugs
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