Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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