Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
